Today marks exactly 2 months until Baby MD is due to make their entrance into the world. We are actually hoping they are a day late so that they are born on Halloween. Not because of the holiday persea, but really because that was Grandpa DiTommaso's birthday. What a fabulous man to share a birthday with for any great grandbaby even if he is no longer here to meet them.
For sometime I have been meaning to write a post about what I have learned during my pregnancy. Not because I have learned anything profound, but more so I can remember what it was like after the baby is here and I can barely remember my own name. I think I shall organize my thoughts into lists... I love lists...
Things I've loved about being pregnant:
1. Yoga pants. When they have the fold over band they are perfect for pregnant bellies and are very comfortable. I do believe if you try hard enough you could even dress them up... a bit.
2. Watching my belly grow. Even though it's not as big as I thought it would be (Jarrod keeps telling me I haven't "popped" yet), it has been quite magical to watch it stretch and accommodate the baby. So far so good on the stretch marks front too. Some popped veins, but no real stretch marks. I am sure now that I have written this I will grow rapidly and have massive stretch marks. Thanks universe...
3. Watching people get excited. I hate being the center of attention, but it has almost been worth it to see how excited this baby makes people. My family, Jarrod's family, our friends, even my students turn to mush at the thought of "Coach D" having a baby. The best is seeing Jarrod with a big goofy grin at every ultrasound. What an amazing opportunity it is to watch your spouse transform before your eyes into a parent figure. It really isn't something you can imagine before it happens.
4. Shopping for baby clothes. Baby clothes have been about the only thing so far that turns me into a cheeseball. They're so tiny and cute and you can't possibly imagine having enough haha. It's amazing how a transformation happens within yourself when it comes to shopping. Instead "I want these new shoes" I find myself saying "I'll get the shoes later, I want to get these outfits for the baby now".
5. Feeling the kicks and movements. Once the movement became regular I remember thinking how bizarre it was to be totally ok with something moving inside of me. It is amazing that it never really freaked me out, that the mind adapts quickly and provides you with a sense of calm even though at times it looks and feels like a scene from Alien. The best is when Jarrod can see it and not even have to feel it. I was able to actually take a video of the baby moving and send it to both sets of parents. Technology is definitely amazing in that way.
Things I have not loved about being pregnant:
1. My body is not what it use to be. I know that is very vain and that it is totally possible to get it back to where it was, but I have not enjoyed feeling frumpy for the past 7 months. It seems no matter how hard I try to eat healthy or workout I still put on more weight than I thought I did or should. It's definitely a frustrated experience losing control of yourself.
2. People wanting to touch my belly. I know that this comes across as mean, but for someone who only recently picked up the habit of hugging hello and goodbye, it is very weird to me that someone would want to touch my stomach. Feeling it kick is quite amazing, but the baby tends not to perform on demand and so you end up with that awkward waiting game.
3. My nerves seemed to be shot. Everything makes me worried these days. Am I gaining too much weight? How will we afford daycare? Is the baby growing? How much will the next ultrasound cost? Is the nursery ready? Who will visit us when? Will the dogs be ok with the baby? Will I be ok returning to work in Jan? How will I know when Im in labor? What will I do if I go into labor at school? Plus 10 million more questions that keep my mind occupied all day. I know these are all common questions, but as a planner, not being about to plan things out or answer them now really drives me crazy.
4. Peeing all the time. I used to have a bladder of steel.... enough said.
5. Second guessing our decision to have a baby right now. It sounds horrible, but there are some days when I feel like we've made a poor decision. That now is not the time to have a baby. That babies always sound good until you're actually pregnant and even then they still sound good until you're a few months away from having a tiny human in your life. I feel like a horrible person for doubting our decision and for not wanting this little person we worked so hard to get, but some days I am just not sure I am ready for the addition to our lives. I think a lot of it has to do with money, free time, having more friends without babies than with, being away from family and away from the baby once we go back to work. Again, I am sure this is perfectly normal... but then again what is normal when there is a HUMAN inside of you?
Things I didn't expect... or did and never happen:
1. I expected to cry all the time... I don't.
2. I expected to have a huge belly... I don't.
3. I expected the dogs to know something was up... they don't.
4. I expected to get sick a bunch in the beginning... I never did.
5. I expected to have a healthy baby...we do... just really small which causes lots of worry.
6. I did not expect to hate being pregnant... I am really glad I am only doing this once.
7. I did not expect enjoying feeling the baby kick... it still amazes me each time and feels normal all at once.
8. I did not expect being treated like I was fragile... I appreciate the thought I suppose, but really I am fine.
9. I did not expect being pregnant to make me a better teacher... I think it has helped me relax...some.
10. I did not expect to want to be a mom... I do want to be... Just hope I am one of the good ones.
Here's to being 2 months away from our lives changing forever... In many more good ways that not I am sure.
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